There is a story in Matthew 15:21-28 of a Canaanite woman who comes to Jesus to ask for his help in healing her daughter from demons. The story sticks in my mind because it is contrary to, I think, the way many of us want to look at our faith, and Jesus. It is comforting to to think of God, father and Son, as always there for us. Willing to do anything for us that we ask without actually requiring much in return from us. I think that is a common way of looking at God and love in general. It is likely one of the reasons that the divorce rate is so high. People say, I love this person, but only as long as I receive good feelings from them. I want the benefit without it really requiring much work from me. Back to the Canaanite woman. She came to Jesus and asked Him for help, and His first response was, to completely ignore her. Then she continue to follow Him and beg, and he told her, basically "I am not here for you, go away." At first glance this isn't the all loving all accepting Jesus that we like to wrap ourselves in. The woman continues to come to him, and the last time Jesus says to her, "It is not fair to take the children’s food and throw it to the dogs." So this woman, came to Jesus three times, and each time he insulted her progressively worse, the final time calling her a "dog." Surely at this point most of us would say, this Man doesn't love me, in fact he Hates me, the heck with him. The woman however did not anger, and asked that as a dog she be allowed to eat the scraps from his table. At this Jesus told her, "woman, great is your faith, let it be done as you wish"
The reason I like this story so much is I think Jesus' message in this verse tells us as much about the way he wants us to love as it does about the faith he wants us to live. This woman loved as Jesus taught us to love even before he had clearly sent the message. This to me is why her faith was great, not necessarily because she believed beyond doubt that Jesus could heal her daughter, but that she continued to hold Him high and have faith when it seemed he had none in her. Ultimately Jesus would very clearly teach us what it means to love. He denied the woman three times, each progressively worse and she continued to love Him. We would do the same to Jesus, we would beat him, mock him, and crucify him, yet He continued to love us. Even Peter would deny Him three times, and still Jesus would suffer and die for us. Jesus' to me had mercy on the woman, because she had learned his message of love even before he had fully taught it.
I hear people say repeatedly that God is Love. But the love they are talking about is not the love we give to God but the good feeling of love that we get from him. We bask in it, this feeling of love that we are forgiven, that Jesus is there for us. We hardly want to acknowledge that that love came with a price, that we need to ask for forgiveness.
In the Gospel of John, Jesus says,"Love one another as I have loved you", How did He love us? How did we love him? We spat on Him, we denied knowing Him, we scourged him, we crowned him with thorns, we teased Him, made fun of Him, taunted Him, then we killed him by nailing Him to the Cross. Jesus washed our feet. healed our sick, made us wine, endured the scourging, the teasing, the thorns, the Nails. Then he asked God the Father to forgive us.
Jesus taught us how to love. Love is not the feeling your get, it is the feeling you give. Love is sacrifice, love is service, love is doing those things when the person you are loving doesn't get it, want it or appreciate it. Jesus, knows we are not perfect, but His love can make us perfect. His forgiveness is perfect and when we ask for it in the sacrament of confession we are given it no questions asked and so through Jesus made perfect. This is the example of love that we should give to our spouses and children.
Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy the feeling of God's love. I bask in the wonderful feeling of having been forgiven after confession, or sitting in adoration in front of the Blessed Sacrament. I enjoy more than anything the feeling of love I get when I am looking at my wife. I am not talking about the greatness of being loved but the greater joy of loving. If we base our relationship with God, or our spouse on the feeling we get, there will come a day when it feels dry, or absent. There will come a day when saying the rosary feels more tedious, and it seems like a lot of work to get to church. And what happens when we say that prayer, that it seems Jesus just will not answer? When we ask for healing for a loved one, and they die, when we need help and seemingly he allows us to suffer anyway? In those moments, if we have built our faith on that good feeling we get, when it goes away we will most certainly fail. We will look to replace the good feelings we used to feel while praying or going to church with pleasures of the world. We will look for happiness on TV, on the internet, in movies and games and lose sight of what God is calling us to do.
That is why it is so important we look to the example that Jesus has given us. He has given us the foundation for a solid and unshakable faith, in Him. It is to exercise purely selfless love. That is how Jesus loves us, and that is how he has commanded us to "love one another." Jesus is love, he loved us to the point of death, he loved us even though we showed him very little love in return. I pray that every time I say the words "I love you" that they will represent that commitment from me, to love to the point of death regardless of my own comfort, and also that every time I hear the words "I love you" that I will not take that commitment and sacrifice for granted by only taking those great feelings and leaving nothing in return. That my faith will be based on my desire to serve Christ and not be served by him. Too often I think we take for granted the sacrifice of the Cross, and the ease with with Christ offers forgiveness. Let our faith not be based as much on the feelings we receive as much as the commitment we give.
The danger in basing our love for God or each other on the feelings we receive from the knowledge that we are loved unconditionally, is that sooner or later we start to test the bounds of that unconditional love. We will come to church in jeans, because we know Jesus loves us unconditionally. We will risk missing Church, because God will still be there next week. We will progressively reduce our reverence in front of the Cross to little more than a casual visit and a chance to socialize with others. That is why our love needs to be active. We need to take Christ's commandment and challenge ourselves to show love, not just receive it. How would you dress for church if your intention was to show your love for Christ in the most meaningful way I could. How will I approach the alter to receive the Blessed Sacrament, with the knowledge that I am physically approaching Christ in the fullness of His sacrifice? That sacrifice that demonstrates in the clearest possible way that God is Love.
In the Gospel of John, Jesus says,"Love one another as I have loved you", How did He love us? How did we love him? We spat on Him, we denied knowing Him, we scourged him, we crowned him with thorns, we teased Him, made fun of Him, taunted Him, then we killed him by nailing Him to the Cross. Jesus washed our feet. healed our sick, made us wine, endured the scourging, the teasing, the thorns, the Nails. Then he asked God the Father to forgive us.
Jesus taught us how to love. Love is not the feeling your get, it is the feeling you give. Love is sacrifice, love is service, love is doing those things when the person you are loving doesn't get it, want it or appreciate it. Jesus, knows we are not perfect, but His love can make us perfect. His forgiveness is perfect and when we ask for it in the sacrament of confession we are given it no questions asked and so through Jesus made perfect. This is the example of love that we should give to our spouses and children.
Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy the feeling of God's love. I bask in the wonderful feeling of having been forgiven after confession, or sitting in adoration in front of the Blessed Sacrament. I enjoy more than anything the feeling of love I get when I am looking at my wife. I am not talking about the greatness of being loved but the greater joy of loving. If we base our relationship with God, or our spouse on the feeling we get, there will come a day when it feels dry, or absent. There will come a day when saying the rosary feels more tedious, and it seems like a lot of work to get to church. And what happens when we say that prayer, that it seems Jesus just will not answer? When we ask for healing for a loved one, and they die, when we need help and seemingly he allows us to suffer anyway? In those moments, if we have built our faith on that good feeling we get, when it goes away we will most certainly fail. We will look to replace the good feelings we used to feel while praying or going to church with pleasures of the world. We will look for happiness on TV, on the internet, in movies and games and lose sight of what God is calling us to do.
That is why it is so important we look to the example that Jesus has given us. He has given us the foundation for a solid and unshakable faith, in Him. It is to exercise purely selfless love. That is how Jesus loves us, and that is how he has commanded us to "love one another." Jesus is love, he loved us to the point of death, he loved us even though we showed him very little love in return. I pray that every time I say the words "I love you" that they will represent that commitment from me, to love to the point of death regardless of my own comfort, and also that every time I hear the words "I love you" that I will not take that commitment and sacrifice for granted by only taking those great feelings and leaving nothing in return. That my faith will be based on my desire to serve Christ and not be served by him. Too often I think we take for granted the sacrifice of the Cross, and the ease with with Christ offers forgiveness. Let our faith not be based as much on the feelings we receive as much as the commitment we give.
The danger in basing our love for God or each other on the feelings we receive from the knowledge that we are loved unconditionally, is that sooner or later we start to test the bounds of that unconditional love. We will come to church in jeans, because we know Jesus loves us unconditionally. We will risk missing Church, because God will still be there next week. We will progressively reduce our reverence in front of the Cross to little more than a casual visit and a chance to socialize with others. That is why our love needs to be active. We need to take Christ's commandment and challenge ourselves to show love, not just receive it. How would you dress for church if your intention was to show your love for Christ in the most meaningful way I could. How will I approach the alter to receive the Blessed Sacrament, with the knowledge that I am physically approaching Christ in the fullness of His sacrifice? That sacrifice that demonstrates in the clearest possible way that God is Love.
